The Pool Dominatrix

Apparently, not only does UCLA win ugly, they lose really ugly. I mean, wow. I mean, how unawesome was that? I'm more agitated about last night's game than inspired to write my usual literary post glorifying college basketball and this tournament so here are just some choppy observations:

* When did Rick Patino join the Soprano's cast? Even his wife could be a Carmela stand in.

* Did UCLA coach Ben Howland really think it was beneficial to play wild freshman guard Darren Collison 21 long minutes? My heart froze up every time this kid touched the ball. It was 21 minutes of him dribbling around frantically with a one-track mind to either shoot (three defenders be damned!) or turn over the ball. Zero points and one million turn overs in 21 minutes. That's great. P.S. Doesn't he look like Tracy Chapman without the dreads?

* Did you see Florida center Joakim Noah blow a kiss to the UCLA cheerleaders? He said in an interview that they were heckling him relentlessly, but I think he was weighing his options for the night; lining stuff up right there mid-game. Here's a picture of him lining up more ass as he cuts down the nets. I suggested that he might also be arranging something for his dad Yannick, but from how well Yannick has aged, I don't think he has a problem in that category.

* Cameroon should have a great national team for the upcoming Olympics.

* Are the tattoos of college hoops players getting better or worse? Hint: More does not equate to better. As a tattoo enthusiast, I appreciate body art more than the average person, but 98% of these kids might want to slow their sprint to Mickey's Tattoo Parlor. Maybe they should sleep on their ideas for a few months first. "I'll just get the basketball with the tribal barbed wire please." Mickey: "You mean, the number 8 college hoops special?"

I was going to bag on Jordan Farmar's tattoo, but it's a sentimental gesture to his little sister, an up and coming baller herself, so as badly as I want to say something, I'll leave it alone. Ok, just this one thing: As sweet as this is, it seems that at 19 when Farmar gets a tat that reads "Just the Two of Us" he wasn't really thinking about the possibility of meeting someone else during his lifetime. A significant other? Kids of his own maybe? Will he cross it out and put "I mean, Just the Four of Us"?

* A half-hour before the NCAA championship game, UCLA coach Ben Howland gathered his team together to tell his players that John Wooden was in the hospital. He told them that the 95-year-old Hall of Fame coach was going to be fine. He gave them the ol' Let's Do It For Wooden speech. Didn't this timely hospital visit feel a little staged; like Wooden himself planned this? Nice try, Gipper!

* Must I mention Billy Donovan's Eddie Munster peak? I wasn't gonna do it! But it's like that mole on Fred Savage's face in Austin Powers 8 or whichever one . . . I look at Billy's head and all I think of is Peak . . . peakiepeakiepeakiepeakie peak.

Enough! Enough of this underwhelming post about an underwhelming finals. Congratulations to Doreen for her dramatic come-from-behind performance to clinch first place in the 2006 Chez Danette March Madness pool. And congratulations to Gotonepicright! for second.

It has been fun, as always, and I'm already suffering withdrawals,
The Pool Domi