The Pool Dominatrix

Apparently, not only does UCLA win ugly, they lose really ugly. I mean, wow. I mean, how unawesome was that? I'm more agitated about last night's game than inspired to write my usual literary post glorifying college basketball and this tournament so here are just some choppy observations:

* When did Rick Patino join the Soprano's cast? Even his wife could be a Carmela stand in.

* Did UCLA coach Ben Howland really think it was beneficial to play wild freshman guard Darren Collison 21 long minutes? My heart froze up every time this kid touched the ball. It was 21 minutes of him dribbling around frantically with a one-track mind to either shoot (three defenders be damned!) or turn over the ball. Zero points and one million turn overs in 21 minutes. That's great. P.S. Doesn't he look like Tracy Chapman without the dreads?

* Did you see Florida center Joakim Noah blow a kiss to the UCLA cheerleaders? He said in an interview that they were heckling him relentlessly, but I think he was weighing his options for the night; lining stuff up right there mid-game. Here's a picture of him lining up more ass as he cuts down the nets. I suggested that he might also be arranging something for his dad Yannick, but from how well Yannick has aged, I don't think he has a problem in that category.

* Cameroon should have a great national team for the upcoming Olympics.

* Are the tattoos of college hoops players getting better or worse? Hint: More does not equate to better. As a tattoo enthusiast, I appreciate body art more than the average person, but 98% of these kids might want to slow their sprint to Mickey's Tattoo Parlor. Maybe they should sleep on their ideas for a few months first. "I'll just get the basketball with the tribal barbed wire please." Mickey: "You mean, the number 8 college hoops special?"

I was going to bag on Jordan Farmar's tattoo, but it's a sentimental gesture to his little sister, an up and coming baller herself, so as badly as I want to say something, I'll leave it alone. Ok, just this one thing: As sweet as this is, it seems that at 19 when Farmar gets a tat that reads "Just the Two of Us" he wasn't really thinking about the possibility of meeting someone else during his lifetime. A significant other? Kids of his own maybe? Will he cross it out and put "I mean, Just the Four of Us"?

* A half-hour before the NCAA championship game, UCLA coach Ben Howland gathered his team together to tell his players that John Wooden was in the hospital. He told them that the 95-year-old Hall of Fame coach was going to be fine. He gave them the ol' Let's Do It For Wooden speech. Didn't this timely hospital visit feel a little staged; like Wooden himself planned this? Nice try, Gipper!

* Must I mention Billy Donovan's Eddie Munster peak? I wasn't gonna do it! But it's like that mole on Fred Savage's face in Austin Powers 8 or whichever one . . . I look at Billy's head and all I think of is Peak . . . peakiepeakiepeakiepeakie peak.

Enough! Enough of this underwhelming post about an underwhelming finals. Congratulations to Doreen for her dramatic come-from-behind performance to clinch first place in the 2006 Chez Danette March Madness pool. And congratulations to Gotonepicright! for second.

It has been fun, as always, and I'm already suffering withdrawals,
The Pool Domi

How well one does in this March Madness pool, especially the Chez Danette pool, often times turns into a test of loyalties: Loyalty to one's instincts and loyalty to one's personal connection to a particular school. Even if your loyalty only pays off once in a lifetime. Take pooler PhiSlammaJamma who once called himself The Cuse, as in Syracuse. Syracuse is his alma mater and the year Syracuse won the tournament with Carmelo Anthony, he didn't pick them to go all the way. The Cuse did not pick The Cuse. In shame, he has subsequently changed his name.

Take Big Bad Puerto Rican Papa this year: Immediately after Selection Sunday, his initial bracket predicted Florida as the 2006 NCAA champs. I told him I couldn't wait to write about that because I thought the pick was genius. No one else in the pool had Florida going all the way. He said, "Wait, wait, wait . . .don't write that yet. Billy Donovan tends to choke in the early rounds." I said, "You're not going to change it are you? And go against crazy Ghetto France, Joakim Noah? It's such a great pick." He said, "Let me just erase Florida here and write in Ohio State. Yea, that's better." Needless to say, he's been kicking himself ever since for not staying loyal to his initial instincts, if only to root on the former 80's tennis great Yannick Noah's son. BBPP laments every round saying, "I hope Florida wins the whole thing just so I can tell every one what a dick I am."

And finally, the 2006 Primo Example of Disloyalty: Do you know where I was born? UCLA Medical Center. I grew up running around Westwood. I even bumped into Reggie Miller once, when he was a UCLA student-star, on corner of Westwood and Linbrook. He was wearing a trench coat, a newsboy cap and black eyeliner – hey, it was the 80's. I went to UCLA basketball camp at the vulnerable age of thirteen. I've sat at Pauley Pavilion many times doing the 8 Clap. My husband and I saw Cedic Bozman play in 11th grade when the Mater Dei/Capo Valley high school rivalry was at its sickest. So, how in the hell did I jump on the odd Adam Morrison bandwagon? I was blinded by his heart and quirkiness ignoring the fact that he didn't have enough team support. How did I forsake my hometown school, UCLA?? A team that has ducked under the true-contender radar pre tournament and even during? A team that is dead set on dragging defense back into the game of basketball. A team that clicks with tenacious chemistry and wins no matter how ugly it looks. Where is my loyalty??

Tonight's final will be interesting. I believe Florida will try to control the game early. I believe UCLA will adjust to Florida's style and then contain them within their swarmy, scrappy realms. But if UCLA can't figure out how to score, it won't matter. The end score will be something like 28-10, which sounds really fun to watch.

Here's the deal with the pool: Out of the blue, "Doreen" shot herself into first place because she picked Florida to go to the finals. She had Texas winning the whole thing so she has no way of earning more points. It's the same with Gotonepickright who also picked Florida in the final game. He has no chance of earning more points either, but he could win second place. The only way Doreen and Gotone are getting knocked off is if UCLA wins tonight and that means Quan, Baby! and Mr. Clutch catapult themselves into first and second place respectively.

It's been a wild, fun ride so far.
Commencing 8 Clap now,
Pool Domi